i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
