that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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