I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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