Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Quick, to the slutcave!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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