6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
