Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
