Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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