Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
