Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
