I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
