I just saw a hot homeless man
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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