If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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