sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
