It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
