so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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