And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
