He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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