I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
