How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well I just put wine in my tea
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
