i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
