Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
