Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
