I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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