She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
