I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
MIDGETS
????
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
