I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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