Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
