Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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