it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
