Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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