Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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