is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
