I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
