Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
false alarm, still single
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
