when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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