No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
