How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
