girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
