Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Randomize