from now on my penis is your penis
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
