Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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