mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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