I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
420 ftw
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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