You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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