Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
