Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
