Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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