ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
