the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
