so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
