Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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