At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
