I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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