did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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