well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize