you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
