you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
