Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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