Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
