idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
