Got a toothbrush?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
