He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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