arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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