so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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