I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
