She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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